Normal is Relative
by free2thamax
Summary: Another selfinsert. But better I think than the others. More believable, too or else I am not believable. Based on me and my crazy friend on the Black Pearl, after an overdose of iced coffee. Beware!
1. Chapter 1

Tori and Kirsten stood up and stretched their legs. "Wow. It was even better the fifth time

around," Kirsten said as they walked to the exit of the movie theater. "Well, yeah," Tori replied,

"but how can Pirates of the Caribbean ever be bad? I still despised the cliffhanger at the end,

though." Kirsten nodded, and reached into her purse, black with a pink letter "K" on it. She pulled

out a wad of cash. "I've got a $20 left. Wanna get some pizza later?" she asked as she pushed

open the door of the movie theater.

"Kirsten, I don't think we're in Oklahoma anymore," Tori said, blue eyes widening. Kirsten's

mouth was hanging open, and she pushed a strand of medium-length light brown hair behind her

ear. "Oh...my...gosh, Tori, I think we're on the...the..."

"Black Pearl," they finished together. Tori immediately pulled a compact out of the back

pocket of her jeans and checked her hair. She had long hair, dark brown, and it was naturally

curly. She pulled a lipgloss from her turquoise purse and applied it, barely looking at the mirror.

This was a skill that Kirsten envied, and she often wondered how Tori did it. "Kirst? Do I look

OK?" Tori asked her friend. "Yeah, you look fine. Me?" "Yeah, fine. I wonder when we'll see

them?" Tori said. They were total fans of Jack (Tori) and Will (Kirsten), almost obsessed. Okay,

maybe a little obsessed. Fine, totally obsessed. They walked further onto the deck.

They saw a ton of "familiar" faces, Mr. Gibbs, Anamaria, even the monkey. They didn't see,

however, Jack, Will, or Elizabeth. Until the three noticed them in their odd clothes (jeans and a

turquoise-and-black top for Tori, and a cute striped tank and a hot pink skirt for Kirsten), that is,

and walked over. Elizabeth tapped them both on the shoulder.

Tori and Kirsten spun around on the spot, and screamed at the same time. Elizabeth looked

puzzled. "Who are you two?" she asked.

"This is Tori and I'm Kirsten. You're Elizabeth Swann, right?" Kirsten asked. "Yes," said

Elizabeth suspiciously, "but how do you know my name?" Tori cleared that right up, though.

"Well, you're only one of the stars of our favorite movie of all time!" Elizabeth looked puzzled

again. "I'm afraid I don't know what a 'movie' is," she said. Kirsten opened her mouth to explain,

but Tori cut her off. "Elizabeth, would you mind introducing us to your friends?" she said.

gesturing to Jack and Will. Elizabeth brightened up. "Alright, follow me," she said.

She walked them over to where Jack and Will stood, looking at them thoughtfully. "Tori,

Kirsten, this is Captain Jack Sparrow and William Turner. Jack, Will, this is Tori and Kirsten,"

she said. "Pleased to make your acquaintance, Kirsten, Tori," Will said, making polite bows to

each of them. Tori shook his hand, Kirsten just stared. Jack stepped forward. "Hello, loves," he

said, taking Tori's hand and kissing it. Her eyes widened. Kirsten was still staring at Will.

"So, girls," Elizabeth said, "how did you come to be here today?" Tori glanced at Kirsten

before replying, "We...don't know, to be honest. Not that we're complaining," she said winking at

her friend. "Right," Elizabeth said. "Well," Jack seemed to interrupt whatever she was saying.

"We'd better introduce you to the rest of the crew, eh?" he said, and grinned at them, flashing a

few gold teeth. "Oh, that's fine," Tori said, and followed him, smiling at her friend. Kirsten grinned

back, as Will had taken her hand to follow Tori and Jack.

"Gibbs! Anamaria!" Jack yelled, causing them to rush over. "We have a couple of

'newcomers' on board, please introduce them to the crew. Tori, Kirsten, this is Mr. Gibbs and

Anamaria. Behave for them, will ya?" Tori giggled a very Tori-ish giggle at that, then blushed the

same color as her lipgloss. Elizabeth got a look of realization on her face, then smirked as she

walked away.

"Hello, Tori and Kirsten, isn't it? I'm Anamaria," Anamaria introduced herself to the girls.

"Hi," Tori said. "So...you have your eye on ol' Jack," she said to Tori. Kirsten giggled. Anamaria

turned her gaze to Kirsten. "And you, on Will. He's engaged, you know," she said. "Yeah,

but...he's so FINE!" Kirsten said. Tori giggled. "Yes, well, he is engaged, to that Elizabeth girl.

But we're not actually sure if they're gonna go through with it, 'causa what she did..." Anamaria

trailed off. "I know!" Tori said, "I hated her so much in that scene in the movie!" "Movie?" asked

Anamaria. Kirsten gave her friend a "duh" look and said "Never mind." "Anyway," said Anamaria,

"I don't blame you. They're the two best-lookin' men that I know. Compared to this lot, anyway."

She gestured to a particularly disgusting group of pirates. "Y'know?" Tori and Kirsten nodded.

"Well," Anamaria said, "been nice talkin' to ya. I have a feeling we can become good friends."

Kirsten said "Yeah." Tori nodded.

At that moment, Elizabeth came over to them. "Are you three getting along? I see Gibbs left,

what were you, talking about boys and such?" she asked, smiling. The other girls laughed. "Well,

I've actually come to get Tori and Kirsten, I wanted to get to know them a little more, as they

might be here for a while." "Oh, okay," said Tori, and they followed Elizabeth to the front of the

ship.

"So, you two seem to know a lot about us. I was just wondering...how?" she asked. "Well, it's

kind of a long story, Tori said. "It involves a 'movie', so..." Elizabeth grinned. "What's in those

bags?" she said, noticing their shopping bags for the first time. Tori and Kirsten began pulling

things out. "Oh, just a few things we picked up at the mall. There's a t-shirt..." "a compact..."

"some lipgloss..." they said in turns. They emptied it out to the bottom. "A diary and..." Tori

blushed again. Kirsten snorted. "And the fleece blanket with a picture of Jack on it." Elizabeth

grinned. Tori reached over and grabbed the blanket protectively. "Mine," she said. Kirsten and

Elizabeth laughed, getting the men's attention. They walked over, intent on figuring out what the

girls were talking about.

"Hello, girls," Will said. "What are you up to?" "Oh," Tori and Kirsten said in unison.

"Nothing." They giggled. Will tried to take the blanket out of Tori's hands, but she fought back.

"Guess those three years of dance paid off," she said as she pulled the blanket back. This time,

Jack grabbed it. Tori found she had a harder time keeping it this time, as she had to stand up to

keep it. Jack grinned at her. She grinned back.

Suddenly, she had an idea. If she let go, she could figure it to where Jack would have to

catch her. Apparently, he was thinking the same, as he gave the blanket a sharp tug. She was

great actress, a skill she knew of well, so she made it look realistic as she pretended that the

force of the pull made her spin halfway, so her back was facing him, and she screamed as she

fell backward. She knew he would catch her, so it was no surprise when strong arms grabbed

her. She stayed there a minute, pretending to look herself over, but really smirking at Kirsten and

Elizabeth.

"Tori! Are you okay?" Jack asked concernedly. "I think I'll be fine," Tori said, spinning around

to face him. "Thanks for saving me," she said, smiling. "Any day, love," Jack replied, smiling right

back at her. She turned back around, facing Kirsten, flipped her hair, and walked back to the

bench that they had been sitting on.

"Tori! Are you crazy! If he hadn't caught you..." Kirsten said, trailing off. "I had a feeling he

would, Kirsten," Elizabeth said. "What do you mean?" Tori asked. "Well, I can't really

explain...well, maybe I can. Kirsten, describe your friend, please," Elizabeth said. "Tori? Well,

she's got a great sense of humor, she's really adventurous and daring, y'know? She's kind, but

tough, and she can be sarcastic," Kirsten said. "Thanks, K," Tori said sarcastically. "You see?"

Kirsten said to Elizabeth. "Remind you of anyone?" Elizabeth said. Kirsten got a knowing look in

her brown eyes. "Oh, I see. So you think..." "Yes, I think!" Elizabeth said. "They have so much in

common, Kirsten! Don't you see?" Elizabeth said, gesturing to where Tori and Jack had struck

up a conversation. "They do look good together," Kirsten admitted.

(R& R appreciated!)


	2. Corset Time!

Thanks for reviewing, Caribbean Babe! You asked for more, here it is! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Don't own PotC, don't own my BFF Kirsten (if you're reading this, HI!), only own myself (Tori). Yeah.

Tori and Kirsten walked along the deck of the Black Pearl, talking. "So," Kirsten said, "that

was a clever thing you did, with the blanket. What posessed you to do it is what I want to know,

though."

Tori nodded. "To be honest, I don't really know. I just wanted to see if he was dependable, I

guess. Dependable is one of the things on my list."

Kirsten looked confused. "What list?" Tori smiled. "My list of things to look for in a guy. I

wrote it down somewhere, but I've memorized it, so..."

Kirsten raised an eyebrow. "I'm almost afraid to ask, but I'm going to anyway. What is it?"

Tori grinned. "He has to have first name Jack, last name Sparrow..." Seeing Kirsten's puzzled

look, she added "I'm only joking. The real thing is, number one, he has to be kind to me. Number

two, he has to have a great sense of humor. Number three, he has to be adventurous and daring.

Number four, he has to be dependable. And number five, he has to be totally hot. As of now, I've

crossed out all five for him. Soooo..." She trailed off.

"Where are we going? Looks like Port Royal!" Kirsten said. Elizabeth walked up behind them.

"Right you are! You two have been wearing those horrible clothes for too long. We're going to

get you some proper clothes, dresses and corsets and all that..."

Tori and Kirsten looked at each other, horrified looks on their faces. "CORSETS?" they

echoed, terrified. "I'm too fat to fit in a corset!" Kirsten cried. "Well, I thought I was too, then I

went to the Medieval Fair!" Tori said. Elizabeth looked confused. "Never mind," Tori sighed.

Tori, Kirsten, Elizabeth, Will, and Jack walked into the dress shop. The walls were painted

pale purple and lined with gorgeous dresses, every color. Elizabeth walked up to the desk.

"Emily?" she asked the girl standing there. "Elizabeth!" Emily said. "So good to see you! what do

you need today? A new wedding dress, maybe?"

"Actually, I don't think William and I will be married anytime soon. I need dresses for these

two. Victoria and Kirsten," Tori and Kirsten stepped forward. Emily took their measurements and

led them over to the first rack of dresses. They both found dresses there, Tori's dark red,

Kirsten's pale blue.

"Now, we need to get you some corsets, don't we?" Emily said. "Ehhh, no?" Tori tried to get

herself out of wearing the uncomfortable undergarments. "Too bad!" Elizabeth said. "Yes, they

need corsets."

After being painfully squeezed into white corsets, stuffed into dresses, and feet pinched into

shoes to match the dresses, the girls walked out, looking gorgeous. Will's mouth dropped open

at the sight of Kirsten, and Jack grinned upon seeing Tori. "You look beautiful," the men said at

the same time. Elizabeth whispered to Emily, "On second thought, make that two wedding

dresses,"

Tori looked at Elizabeth, puzzled. "What? We're not engaged!" Elizabeth smiled. "It may be

sooner than you think."


	3. Author's Note

To all my readers,

I will be out of town for 5 days, so I won't be able to update. Sorry to leave you hanging, but I won't be able to access the Internet. I will, however, be working on chapter 3 as I'm gone, and it'll be extra-long. Thanks for reading!

Tori


	4. Meeting Catey and BIG NEWS FOR TORI!

Tori and Kirsten walked along the rows of shops in Port Royal, admiring their dresses in every window they saw. Their thin figures looked even thinner with the corsets on. They were talking about what Elizabeth had said back in the dress shop.

"I wonder if she was serious," Kirsten said. "I mean, she was smiling, but her eyes looked serious. Not that I'm complaining if she was, though." "I know! And did you hear how she practically called off her engagement to Will? That can only mean good things, my dearie," Tori said that last sentence to mock all those corny fortune-tellers back home.

Kirsten laughed. "Yeah, well, I just hope she's okay with that. I mean, if she was only doing it to make Will happy, and she was like 'oh no you didn't' to herself, I wouldnt want that." Tori nodded. "Yeah, you're right. If I were you, I wouldn't want to get on her bad side," Tori said, referring to the part in the second movie where she took out, like, a million people with two swords.

They laughed as they walked back to the Black Pearl. They were still giggling as they sat down on the bench that they had been sitting on when they first discovered they were on the ship, after they had stumbled through the doors of the movie theater. Suddenly, they stopped laughing, and their eyes widened.

A tall, dirty blonde girl was standing in front of them, looking as disoriented as they had when they first stumbled on the Black Pearl. "What? Where am I? Who- Tori? Kirsten?" she asked, finally seeing the two girls. "Catey!" they shrieked, standing up to hug their friend.

Catey, short for Catherine, was a friend from 2006. She was very athletic, and she loved Pirates of the Caribbean as much as Tori and Kirsten. "How did you get here?" Kirsten asked. "I don't know! I was just in the movie theater-" Tori cut her off. "Theater 9 at the mall?" she asked her friend. "I think so, why?" the tall girl asked. "That's where we were just before we got here!" Kirsten cried. "That's weird," Catey said. She noticed, for the first time, what they were wearing. "Corsets, huh? You've met them, then?" she asked, referring to Jack, Will, and Elizabeth. "Yup, and Tori pulled quite a stunt," Kirsten said. "That was SO AWESOME!" Tori said. "I'm afraid to ask, but I will anyway," Catey said, looking amused.

"Well, you know her, boy-crazy to the max," Kirsten said. "And, being a drama major in school. Put those together, and you get-" "Me, trying to defend my Jack Sparrow blanket from, well, Jack Sparrow," Tori said. " But then I quit pulling so I could pretend to lose my balance and fall into his arms." Catey tried to stifle a laugh.

"I could almost see that," she said. "Yeah, well, I did get to see it. And ever since, I've been thinking of pulling a stunt like that for myself," Kirsten said. "Really?" Tori asked. "Yeah," Kirsten said. "Well, here's your chance!" Tori said, seeing Will pulling a rope. She whispered something to Kirsten, who walked over semi-close to where Will was standing and picked up a rope that was crossed with the one Will had. Catey looked at Tori, who was smirking evilly. "I've taught her well, huh?"

Meanwhile, Kirsten was following Tori's instructions, every last word. She twisted the ropes together one more time, then took two steps to the left. She took a deep breath, and pulled the rope tight. She stuck her foot in the loop of ropes that were crossed, and pretended to trip. The rope she was holding pulled Will toward her, and she fell into his arms. She grinned at Tori, then stood up. "Thanks," she said to Will, smiling. She hugged him.

Tori's blue eyes widened. "I really have taught her well. Maybe too well," she said. Catey nodded, as Kirsten walked back over to them. "That was so awesome!" Catey said. Kirsten was always a little bit shy back home, so this was a new thing for Catey to see. Kirsten laughed.

Suddenly, Jack and Elizabeth came over. "Another one?" Elizabeth asked. "Yeah, this is our friend Catey," Tori said. "Hi," Catey said as she shook hands with Elizabeth and Jack.

Elizabeth turned her eyes to Tori. "We need to talk to you," she said. Tori lowered her eyebrows questioningly, but she stood up and followed them. Catey and Kirsten waited a moment, then followed them as well. Tori, Jack, and Elizabeth walked into a room and shut the door. Kirsten and Catey lowered their ears to the keyhole.

"Well, it's not actually us that need to talk to you, it's more him. I'm here for moral support," Elizabeth said. Kirsten's breath caught. "Elizabeth! She was right!" Kirsten whispered. "What?" Catey asked, hushed. Kirsten shushed her.

"Well?" Tori asked. Jack took a deep breath. "I know I've only known you for a day, but it really feels like forever, and I was wondering..." a pause, "I was wondering if you would do me the honor of marrying me?" Kirsten clamped a hand over Catey's mouth, as it had dropped open. Suddenly they heard a shriek so loud it hurt their ears. They scooted back a bit.

Tori stood for a moment of stunned silence, then said "Yes, oh my gosh, yes!" Jack kissed her quickly, then sighed with relief. "Well, you can go tell your friends, I guess," he said to her. Catey and Kirsten ran back to the bench, as they had heard footsteps walking to the door. They saw the doorknob turn, then saw Tori stepping out. Her mouth was hanging open, and her pale skin had gone paler than usual. There was a ring with a small diamond on it on her left hand.

Kirsten turned to her friend. "What did they want?" she asked, trying hard not to laugh. "You were eavesdropping, weren't you?" Tori asked, hushed. Catey nodded, then grinned, and laughed. Tori screamed and hopped up and down. She grabbed her friends in a hug.

(R&R appreciated, as usual. This chap. was fun to write! Well, I have a few notes. I'm not sure they had engagement rings back then, but still. And, I've had a few friends ask how old Tori, Kirsten, and Catey are. They are 21. For anyone who cares, my vacation was fun! Anyway, I am writing more, as this is BIG NEWS for Tori and Kirsten. And Catey, for that matter. By the way, in case you haven't figured it out, I am Tori, and Kirsten and Catey are real people. I'm on my cellphone with Kirsten as I write this. Anyway, TTYL peeps!)


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